The Ballad of Scott Sterling

Unless you’ve seen this comedy sketch, this poem won’t really make that much sense, so let’s get to that first.

Now, in honor of our great soccer hero, I have written a ballad. It turned out a lot better than I thought. A lot longer, too, but that’s fine.

Without further ado, the honorary tribute to Yale’s Scott Sterling!

Here you go:


The Ballad of Scott Sterling


The greatest game of all the year

Was tied between two teams.

The crowd watched, rapt

Excitement nearly bursting at the seams


And as the final kicks commenced

Scott Sterling took the field.

All Yale’s defense was up to him

He knew he could not yield.


The first kick came at rocket speed

Scott Sterling leaped to block.

But through his hands and to his face

The soccer ball did sock.


His nose was broken, that was sure

But to his feet he stood.

Shaken, but not stirred was he

He knew he had done good


A kick and miss from Yale team

And Sterling took his place

Another kick at super speed

Again shot to his face


The force of both the blows combined

Had begun to take their toll

And Scott was carried off the field

Surely relieved of his role


But who should stagger back again

To continue for his team?

The invincible goalie with face of steel

Fans jumped and cheered and screamed


What was he doing? Curling up?

All showing was Scott’s hair dark

But Lambert stopped to tie his shoe

And the ball again found its mark


No one seemed to notice

As Yale took their shot

With battle-scarred and bloody face

Back again came Sterling, Scott


The hero now could barely stand

But no one seemed to care

And as the man collapsed

His teammates ran out with a chair


It was a gimme, announcers agreed

No possible way to lose now

But North Carolina went in for the kick

And though it’s still unclear quite how


The black and white ball again followed its course

And, uncaring of Sterling’s weak pleas,

Shot straight to his nose and tipped backwards the chair

The other team went to their knees


One miss by Yale and one more remained

One kick would determine the game

Back to the man without fear, without doubt

The man endless soccer balls maim


But where is Scott Sterling? He’s crawling away!

He’s leaving the goal open wide!

Team Yale’s victory’s slipping away

What’s he doing? Everyone cried


The last kick was taken and Scott Sterling turned

As the ball ricocheted off the rim

The last soccer ball of the game, of course

Was making a beeline for him


A final, harsh blow hammered Scott in the face

The crowd rose to their feet with a scream

Yale had won on Scott Sterling alone

And the players were living a dream


The team rushed the field, their hero to cheer

Lark happy they were, sliding in

They pulled him up onto the stretcher of glory

And presented the trophy of their win


The hero was not all that conscious to notice

But he was quite happy, I’m certain

And here on this noble tale

Is where we draw the curtain


And to this day, his legend stands

And inspiration to us all

The man, the myth, the legend: Scott Sterling

The man who could really play ball



Hope you enjoyed the tribute to Studio C’s great soccer hero. 🙂

Are you a Studio C fan?

What’d you think of the poem?

Please comment below! 🙂


24 thoughts on “The Ballad of Scott Sterling

  1. YESSS! This is absolutely perfect. And the GIF is… on point. It’s perfect.

    Did I already say it’s perfect? Because it is. 😀

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