Hey, everyone!
Well… I’m back.
*checks notifications and reader*
Wow. You all have been busy, haven’t you?
Anyway, the random writing snippets won the poll I put up, so they’ll be first in the post lineup.
So, these are from my new writing prompt book, UnJournaling (which is quite awesome). I did about one a day throughout the week, so I get to choose the best ones for you guys!
Prompt 92: Invent some old-wives’ tale cures for hiccups, leg cramps, mosquito bites and warts.
Cure for hiccups:
Find a wild red clover, pull out exactly seven blossom sections and suck out the nectar before eating the blossoms themselves.
Why it works:
Partially the healing properties of pure, wild nectar, and partially the classic hiccups cure of fear. Bees are pretty scary and, if you think about it, you’re taking their food. So watch your back while carrying out this cure.
Cure for leg cramps:
Pet your dog while eating a freshly baked cinnamon roll. (A friend’s dog will do if you don’t have a dog.) (Same for the cinnamon roll.)
Why it works:
Leg cramps are caused by tenseness. Both dogs and cinnamon rolls are extremely relaxing things, and therefore will relax your muscles and stop the cramps.
Cure for mosquito bites:
Forgive someone you’ve been mad at.
Why it works:
Forgiveness is the strongest anti-venom known to man. This cure harnesses it quite well.
Cure for warts:
Have your wart licked by an Irish Wolfhound.
Why it works:
Frogs cause warts.
Frogs = Small and slimy
Irish wolfhounds = Big and furry
Irish wolfhounds are the antidote to warts.
Prompt 18: Here’s what the artist called her painting: “Polar bear eating vanilla ice cream in a blizzard.” To viewers, it looked like a plain white piece of canvas. How might the artist describe other colors of canvas?
A cardinal drowning in tomato juice at sunset.
A flaming tangerine against a backdrop of cheese sauce.
A goldfinch with a buttercup in its beak flying into the sun.
Mossy cucumbers lost in a forest.
A berry JellyBelly thrown into the sky.
The TARDIS lost at sea.
An octopus hiding eggplants in a pool of grape juice at twilight.
Prompt 28: Write five original and obvious warnings for anything you choose
I went with fictional objects on this one…. and went way past the suggested “five”.
But, hey. It was fun! 😛
So. WARNING!
On the One Ring (Lord of the Rings):
Excessive use may lead to obsession, voice raspiness and hair loss.
On Mjolnir (Thor and Avengers):
May cause lowering of self-esteem due to feelings of unworthiness.
On the HMS Renown (A&E’s Horatio Hornblower):
Contains mentally unstable captain. Unreasonable punishments, paranoia and second-guessing may ensue.
On the TARDIS (Doctor Who):
Contains unpredictable Time Lord. Dangerous situations may ensue upon entry.
On pixie dust (Peter Pan):
May temporarily counteract the effects of gravity.
The Dragon Manual (How to Train Your Dragon):
Material contained may be unsuitable for bedtime reading. Authors take no responsibility for resulting nightmares.
On the Piece of Resistance (The Lego Movie):
May permanently attach to back upon contact. War/uprising may also ensue.
On Holy Grail (Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade):
Removal from Petra may result in bodily harm.
On any gadget from Mission: Impossible:
Will likely malfunction at the worst moment possible. Best course of action is to pretend that they hate you. (They probably do.)
Hope you enjoyed all those! Feel free to comment if you have more cures, masterpieces or warnings to add. 😉
So, based on the poll, it looks like the outlook from here is:
Pictures (hopefully… the picnic I was planning on prop-shooting at got canceled. 😥 But we might go try again today.)
A Big Sis/Writer post (I’m deciding between 2, so please vote below!)
Fanfiction (CAPTAIN AMERICA CROSSOVER.*slaps hand over mouth*)
Giver Series Review
Matzah Toffee Recipe
Well, it’s good to be back. 🙂
As always, comment below!
~writefury
(Tentative P.S.: Details aren’t exactly past family at this moment, but we’re going through some stuff that’s really hard for me right now. Don’t worry. The blog will continue as normal [it cheers me up to, y’know] but I’d really appreciate any prayers. They’re very needed. Thanks. <3)
writefury 
Oh my word, this was all so amusing. The cures were hilarious. XD
Thanks! 😀 Glad you liked it.
Definitely praying for you*looks through emoji list* when I find or make a prayer emoji I’ll send it to you. 😃
*hugs* Thanks. 🙂
I’m so glad a friend’s cinnamon roll will work instead of your own.
I know, right? I had to try it out to make sure, but yeah. It works just fine. 😉
Haha, I love the random writing prompts, especially the cures and colors. Your description of the color “purple” is hilarious. 😛 Aww, I’m sorry to hear that, Rosey. I’ll definitely be praying.
I’m glad you liked it! 😀 Yeah, I had the hardest time coming up with an animal, though. I had Triceratops in there at first before Peter pointed out that octopi are purple. XD
Thanks. ❤
Hi, I’m Hann! 😀
This was an amusing post.I especially like the one color canvases 😛
Even though just met you through your blog today, will pray for you 🙂
Hello Hann! Nice to meet you! 😀 I was already quite enjoying your food fight with my sister. 😉
I’m glad you enjoyed! I’ll certainly have to come up with more. 😛
Thank you. 🙂 Prayers are definitely needed.
Yeah… haha. I actually quite enjoyed it ;P
“The Tardis lost at sea” “Contains irrational TIme Lord” These are brilliant. (And yes, I am an unpredictable Time Lord. Though, I’m not always in the box… and there certainly isn’t any plastic shrink wrap.)
Thanks! 😀
Yes, the Tardis lost at sea would be a very blue situation. 😛
Well, it never said the Time Lord was wrapped correctly. It just said he was in there.
That was a horrible pun. X-P
Wrapped correctly?! I beg your pardon!
*grins* I’ve had worse. My family puts up with me. XD
Well, according to postal or retail standards, Time Lords need to at least be wrapped in a nice thick layer of tissue paper before taking on a new companion. XP
Want to hear a REALLY bad joke? Two zombies go skydiving. One zombie exclaims rapturously to the other “I’VE NEVER FELT SO DEAD!”
Uhm… *checks pockets* I got wrapped in a winding cloth. I think the instructions may be wrong. (On the other hand, if this means we get to sneak onto Gallifrey and TP my annoying brother Braxiatel, I’m in!)
I literally laughed out loud. That’s horrible. XD XD
Hey, so one muffin in the oven looks at the other one and says “Gee, it’s sure hot in here.” Know what the other one says?
“WHOA. A talking muffin!”
Mostly, that one makes me laugh because of Daniel’s appalled expression when I told it to him. XD And John’s trying to find the nonexistent, deeper punchline.
X-D THAT IS BRILLIANT X-D
Or Rassilon. We should wrap Rassilon in tissue paper. That would be such fun.
Oh, yesss! 😀 *gets a lot of tissue paper* Where is he?
*manic grin* Probably in the Panopticon. Let’s start a TP fight with all the fuddy duddies.
Ooh hoo, yessss. XD *hands you some* Let’s go.
*The TARDIS seems to know what we’re up to as we climb aboard and giggles to herself* To the Panopticon on Gallifrey, old girl!
Wheee! XD
All right. *steps out of the door sneakily* This way, Oliver!
*evil chuckle* XD Let’s get ‘im.
He’s so full of himself. *thumps fist against toilet paper* Well, we’ll take him down a few pegs. 😉
Getting toilet paper thrown at you always does that. XD
Right. He’s probably standing in the speaker’s spot in the Panopticon. We’ll have to be quick and sneaky to pull this off without getting arrested by the Chancellery Guard–though let’s face it, they’re the most incompetent security force from here to Raxicoricophalliptorious.
Gotcha. *pokes around in my pockets* Got any psychic paper handy?
*loftily* Not that it works on Time Lords. But Commander Maxil might be idiot enough for it to work. Except I doubt he has any imagination.
Ah, got some. *nod* sounds good. 🙂
Okay. It’ll be easier to sneak inside if we dressed up like them, but it’s impossible to run in those robes, so let’s just be sneaky and quick. 😉
Quick and sneaky. We can do that. *tucks toilet paper under arms*
*runs into the Panopticon screaming bloody murder and throwing empty paper towel tubes at Rassilon*
Okay, then. Forget sneaky. *runs after you throwing the toilet paper and singing les mis or something*
Down with the bourgeoisie! 😛 *throws random sparkles everywhere* *nails several Chancellery Guards with paintballs*
*they run away screaming*
Yeah, you’d better run! *nerf-guns everyone*
Ohhhhh! *starts throwing water balloons*
Charge! *pulls out squirtguns*
*starts wrapping Rassilon with toilet paper* >:-D
*glitter glues his hair* >:)
Ohhh! *not to be outdone, paints the Rassilon-mummy turquoise* Okay! Now we’d better leg it!
*Rassilon objects and I tape his mouth shut with cupcake duct tape* Let’s go!
*grinning madly* I haven’t had this much fun since Koschei and I crashed Borusa’s wedding and ended up kidnapping half the guests! It wasn’t our fault. The giant, mutant woolly mammoth was all Ushas’ fault. She got drunk. And that was several centuries ago!
*reads that through a couple of times* That sounds quite interesting. XD
*silly strings Rassilon for good measure*
It was. X-D
*looks in surprise at the silly string* What is that?
Hard to get off. *waves at Rassillon as we run away* Have fun with that!
*runs with you back to the TARDIS* No, seriously. What is it? I’ve never seen anything like it!
String of silliness. I had a can for my birthday once and we’re still getting it off the lightbulbs.
I may have to chemically analyze it. It’s not like anything I have ever seen before!
Go ahead. *sprays some in your hair* *and on the time vortex*
*rubs hands frantically through hair* Silly! You can’t spray things *on* the Time Vortex!
*tosses you the can* Have fun analyzing it. 😛
*squirts some into a test tube* *pours in rubbing alcohol, humming “500 Miles”* this should be fun 😉
*hums 500 Miles with you because that’s an awesome song* 🙂
Umm… careful in the lab…
I may have tried to ferment aspartame in here earlier. I added a catalyst and it all went up in smoke.
Well, I’m used to labs. Peter’s isn’t the picture of safety either. 😛
I probably should be more careful about where I leave the phosphorous….
*shrugs* Peter never is. XD
And I think I may have just set the worst Bible translation I have on fire. Oops. X-D At least it was the bad translation, right? Not the better one. 😛
Whoops. XD At least we have plenty more. 😛
True X-D
THE VORTEX IS NOT A MATERIAL OBJECT! 0.0
(I just laughed out loud, sorry… XD )
*sprays some on the wind and the christmas spirit while I’m at it*
NO! NOT ON MY CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!!! The entire christmas special this year will be all gunked up!
Mwaha! *sprays some on the fruits of the spirit*
NOW YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR! *whips out floppy cardboard sword* Have at thee, villain!
*whips out a pool noodle and bops you on the head*
*smacks you with a floppy hat* Have at thee, villain!
*throws a hotdog bun at you* 😛
*throws a slimy uncooked hot dog at you, for Bullwinkle* Oi! I happen to have a very strong dislike for hot dogs!
Bratwurst, on the other hand… 😛
*throws it to Bullwinkle, who scarfs it down*
Random. Did you know that at the Highland games, they have a fair-food booth of Haggis? XP
I don’t really want to try haggis… 0_0
Me either. O.O it’s scary…
IKR?! Ewwww! :-Z
I’d probably end up eating it if I was wrapped in a thick layer of tissue paper! And that is disgusting!