And the next installment of my villain-with-amnesia story is here! 😀
*dramatic announcer voice*
So when we saw our hero villain last, he was running away from his own approaching gang with a polite young man named Dallas and a hit man named Bad News.
Don’t think things can get wackier?
We’ll see about that…
First, a couple of things.
One, links to the last episodes:
And, I made a story collage the other day, so here’s that. ❤
I like this too much.
Anyway, on to the story!
Hope you enjoy!
Part 4
Game Plan
I didn’t realize until I’d already pulled out of the driveway that I had no idea where in the world I was. Yeah, that might hang things up a little.
“Hey, News . . .” I turned to the fedora-d grizzly bear in the passenger seat. He looked up from pawing through the CDs in the glove compartment.
“What’s this place called?” I waved a hand to the city around us in general.
Bad News pulled his sunglasses up and squinted into the sun for a second before dropping them back down and giving his hat a tug. “Utah.”
Oh gee, thanks. Specifics. “Whereabouts? Like do I turn left or right?”
“Well, to go towards our hideout . . .” Bad News picked up a particularly colorful CD with a cartoon drawing on the front and set it on the dashboard. “ . . . you’d just keep going straight out of town, then head North at Salt Lake City.” He shoved his chosen CD in the player and leaned back in his seat, “I’m assuming that’s where you’re driving to?”
Well, that would probably involve running into the gang. My gang. That would probably kill my backseat passenger. And avoiding that was sort of the reason I was driving away in the first place.
I ran my tongue over my teeth, pulled off the road and got myself turned around. Bad News gave me a bit of a weird look, but shrugged it off.
I heard Dallas shift forward in his seat, “You’ll be in Nevada in a few minutes. I think this is Wendover.”
I nodded, “Okay, thanks.”
Music came on over the speakers, sounding like an old kids’ show and saying something about the number zero. News bopped along in his seat.
I wasn’t about to criticize his music choices, but I was curious what was so wonderful about math songs. “Hey, what’s this called?” I carefully kept all scorn out of my voice.
“Schoolhouse Rock.”
“Oh.” News didn’t strike me as a “schoolhouse” sort of guy. I kept my eyes on the dry mountains on the horizon.
Turned out Dallas was right. By the time we were on to the song talking about multiplying by two, a sign welcoming us to Nevada had come up on the right.
I looked up in the rearview mirror so I could see Dallas. More color was in his face than before. The wind ruffled his hair off his forehead as he looked out the window. Still no smile, though.
“Hey, Dall.”
He looked up to meet my eyes in the mirror.
“How’re you doin’?”
Dallas blinked and glanced to the side, “Fine . . . thank you.” He said it like I’d asked him a trick question.
I waited for a second, then nodded, “Good.” I swallowed and shifted my gaze back down to the road.
It felt kind of weird running away from my own gang. I couldn’t help wondering what they were like. Was it like a scary, goth sort of group where everyone just sat around and scowled at each other? Were they just a bunch more big guys like News? I’d have my own a range of mountains, in that case. Maybe it was more a rag-tag band sort of thing. Irredeemable wretches like myself in any case, probably.
It was hard to think such serious thoughts while a cheery voice counted by fours out of my music speaker.
“So, at the next town . . .” I looked over at News and dropped my voice low, “I’m thinking we drop Dallas off at the police station or something so he can get to some medical attention and head back to wherever he came from.”
“Police station?” Even through the sunglasses, I could tell Bad News really thought I’d gone insane. “Man, we’d be in a cell sooner than you put the parking brake on.”
A jolt of cold went through me at that statement. I shivered a little. “Okay . . .” I licked my lips, “Well, what can we do with him?”
News looked out the window. “There’s a nice empty stretch of road out there. Give him some trail mix and he can hitchhike his way to town.”
I looked back at Dallas, who was attempting to wrap his lopsided, bloody ace bandage tighter around his middle and wincing.
I looked outside at the landscape. Dry, rocky and empty. A dead body would be an unsurprising addition to the landscape.
Drop him by the side of the road? In the shape he was in? It would be kinder to shoot him now.
“Dude, he’d die.” I shook my head and kept my eyes on the road.
“And you’d mind that?” News sounded honestly confused with me. Like I dropped people off to die without minding every week.
I swallowed and dropped my gaze to my hands on the steering wheel. They were shaking and I could see the white bone in my knuckles. The little plunger-whisk robot on my keychain jangled against the key fob and there was a click.
“Exterminate!” said a tiny, metallic voice.
I don’t take advice from keychain robots.
“Hey, Dallas?” I looked at him in the rearview mirror. He raised his head. “So, are you good sticking with us for a bit? Or . . . just, what are you thinking?” I cleared my throat and straightened myself up a bit in my seat.
Dallas held my gaze for a long time, his green eyes seeming to search mine deeply. I hoped News was watching the road while I had my soul searched.
He was, apparently.
“Hey, look! It’s the gang.”
Dallas’s look tightened, but he kept my gaze for a few more seconds, mouthing something very clearly.
I trust you.
I clenched my teeth and gave him a firm nod. My eyes went back to the road for approximately five seconds before I looked back over at Bad News. I’m a horribly attentive driver. “Introduce me to the gang.” I adjusted the mirror so it focused on the car behind us.
News took a quick look over his shoulder. “Roy’s the kid driving with the toothpick in his teeth. Liza’s the one with the turquoise hair. Chris has the cowboy hat and red scarf, and Cardboard is the little girl with the orange shirt.”
I had a little girl named Cardboard in my gang. And I didn’t think anything could top a giant named Bad News.
I craned my neck so the mirror centered on the little dark-skinned girl in orange. “Is there a reason she’s named Cardboard?”
“Roy found her in a dumpster marked ‘Cardboard Only’. She still likes hanging out in it.”
“Ah.” I scanned over the group of faces one more time, repeating the names in my head. Roy. Liz. Chris. Cardboard
Roy pushed his sunglasses up on his forehead and waved, pointing to the side of the road.
I started to slow down. “Okay. Dallas, News . . . game plan time.” I looked behind again and the car was closing in behind us fast.
I came to a stop and ran my shaking hand through my hair. “You two” I pointed meaningfully to both of them, “are going to be the only ones who know I’ve lost my memory.”
–
Dun-dun-DUN!
Tune in next time to see how this crazy plan works out… 😉
What do you think of the story so far?
I’ve already got Wolfgang, Bad News and Cardboard… Any more wacky names I should use?
Please comment!
~writefury
Yes!!! A new installment! I got my sister hooked on reading these stories as well. I love them. 😉
My sister and I once thought of a story with a bad guy who’s last name was O’No. (It never got written.Feel free to use the name yourself. 😉 )
And Cardboard, oh dear. I think they’re either going to know something is wrong right away, or they’re going to think he’s just acting odd like normal. 😉
Favorite line: “And you’d mind that?” News sounded honestly confused with me. Like I dropped people off to die without minding every week.
Also, I love the little Dalek on his key-chain. And the music. 😀
Wow, I’m flattered! Glad she likes them too! 😀
O’No is great. I might have to use that… XD
Thanks so much for commenting! Glad you’re enjoying it so far! ❤
I love the sense of humor in these chapters. Schoolhouse Rock? Cardboard? Dropping people off to die? I can’t wait to see what happens with the gang!
I love writing this because of the humor, honestly… 😛
Glad you’re enjoying it! 😀
ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US?!?!?!?!?
Oh wait, I think that’s Dallas you’re trying to kill. 😉
This is the best serial story I’ve ever read. (Granted, I can count the number of serial stories of read on one hand, but that’s not important right now. 😉 )
Hmmm… more weird names, eh? I have a friend whose maiden name was Strange. Seriously. That’s one that you can really have a lot of fun with. Like, “Hi, what’s your name?” It’s Strange.” “Oh, that’s okay; mine’s kind of weird too.” “No, seriously, it’s Strange.” “Stranger than Wolfgang Dankworth?” *look of confusion* “Depends on your point of view, I guess. It is literally Strange.”
I’m trying to kill lots of things. XD
Wow, thanks so much! 😀 I’m glad you’re enjoying it!
That would be a good one! Though with Doctor Strange coming out semi-soon, I don’t know if I’ll use it. 😛
This is so good!!! I love it! And the Dalek… let’s just say, fandom references make stories a thousand times better. Great job!
Thanks!
And yes, I totally agree on the fandom references thing. XD They’re even more fun to put in. Keep an eye out for more! 😉
*that moment when you need to go do homework… then you see there’s a new installment* xD I love it though! There’s just so much irony, and I love how Bad News is rolling with it all. And Schoolhouse Rock. Just yes.
Strange names… Well, along the lines of math, you could do Einstein. Or one of those awful names parents give their kids, like Mary Christmas or something xD
*is selfishly glad that you’re delaying homework to read my stuff* Glad you’re liking it! XD
I listened to Schoolhouse Rock as a kid. I could probably sing half a dozen songs off the top of my head.
SAAAME. It’s still a big hit in our house. I can sing pretty much all the multiplication ones and most of the grammar and America ones.
They’re awesome, though sometimes border on earworm… XD
We actually did a little skit with the ‘rockin and a rolling’ splishin’ and a splashin’ over the horizon what can it be?’ one when I was like eight. I don’t remember the title, do you? And my mom says when her classroom had to write the pre-amble from memory, you could hear almost practically everyone humming the tune as they tried to remember
Dang, I can’t remember the name of that one either. But it’s stuck in my head now, so thanks for that. XD
My brother just told me the name was “No More Kings”
THAT WAS IT. Gah, I could have remembered if I’d gone through more than the first couple lines in my head. XD
I’m in love. This story is amazing! Thank you for writing this, you are amazing!
As of strange names… I’ve found baby name websites are extremely helpful if you want names with meaning. For example, I named one of my characters Ellis because she was always traveling. (As in Ellis island)
Thanks again for writing this! Keep writing!
AAAAAWWWW ❤ Thanks so much! you totally made my day! 😀
Ellis is a great name!
Thanks, and I will! 😉
Here’s some weird names –
Octavious – Bojangles (I know if Corissa is reading this she’s smirking) –
Clickhopper – Dweezle – Brutcherin (Butch for short) and – Fithyhoop. (Again Corissa, the smirking)
HA HA HA. 😀 😀 😀
Just don’t tell him- he might let it go to his head if he ends up in a book somewhere. 😉
Wowwww…. way out there with the wacky names. XD
Hahahahaha, this is so funny. I bet he was listening to “Conjunction Junction”.
Thanks! XD
He was listening to Zero My Hero, actually. 😛
Oh my gravy this is awesome. A little girl named Cardboard??? XD How about someone with a color name, but not like the usual Red or Blue… something like Magenta or Sarcoline? XD
Thanks! 😀 I actually made up Cardboard a few years ago and haven’t had a chance to use her until now. XD
OOOOOOHHHH I really like Sarcoline… *writes that down*
I like her!!! 😀
If I remember right, that’s like a peach-ish color. 😛
The pictures you’ve put of the actor smirking and winking are just so perfect for how I’ve imagined Wolfgang. You know, that’s actually not a bad name once you get used to it.
I KNOW. I’m so glad I found those. ❤
It isn't all that bad, really. At first I was like "man, i'll never get used to having a character named Wolfgang" and then like a week later I'm talking about him just fine… XP
I LOVE IT!!
When the dalek said exterminate, I cracked. And got a funny look from my brother. 😉
OMW YES.
I love getting stories like this. XD
Glad you like it!
that collage is perfection oh my word
and the Dalek giving advice
and the names
on a scale from one to even i just can’t
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE ❤ ❤ ❤
*glomps you* XD
xP
Oh boy, Wolfy… I love his sass and everything. And the Dalek shrieking “Exterminate!” That bit was perfect. X-D
Also, I want to hear more about Cardboard…
I’ve decided that Wolfy is an avid whovian. Or was. And keeps finding confusing merchandise around his car.
“My other ride is a TARDIS? What the heck?”
THIS IS BRILLIANT AND HILARIOUS AND I LOVE IT. X-D
Also, I envy him starting on Doctor Who and falling in love with it all over again… Was he just into new Who or was he into the classic era as well??? Because I can totally imagine someone taking advantage of the amnesia and making him a fan of a Doctor or one of the minifandoms within the ranks of all Whovians that he hadn’t been before… 😛 At least, that’s what I would probably do if my friend had amnesia but loved Doctor Who… I admit it, I’m really a terrible person X-D
I’d say he was sort of into both? New Who got him started though. And I have a feeling he likes Nine. #leatherjacketbros
XDXD I’m sure if he ever crossed the threshold of your mind palace you would be sure to do that… convert him to a fan of Five or something random. XP
Five? I haven’t gotten to Five yet…. Nope, Three and Eight X-D
Three because he’s sassy and snappy and hilarious and awesome. And Eight is just adorable (and does the Oncoming Storm thing too 😉 )
Yeah, I just saw the actor somewhere else so I kind of want to watch Five.
Three, ay? XD That would be a very small fandom…
Oh, of course Eight.
WHAT?! Three’s fandom is not a very small fandom! Three is freaking awesome!
Also Five is a certified cutie. X-D That much I know from cast photos and the shenanigans of Classic Doctor Who actors at conventions, which people always conveniently videotape. And bloopers. Fivey fudged his line and said a four-letter word, not a very nasty one but it still had four letters X-D It was kinda cute.
I had to do a google search to even remember what Three looked like… *hides*
Wow, I thought only Horatio could make swearing adorable. I guess I was wrong. XD
Well, we’ll fix that eventually X-P I really want to cosplay three, he’s got style X-D
The Doctor swears a little bit in the expanded universe. Occasionally. But it is my firmest belief that sometimes he cusses up a blue streak in Gallifreyan, which the TARDIS won’t translate X-D
This. Is. Too. Much. Hilarity.
Hope all the way up there at the top got me hooked on it, and now I can’t wait for the next installment!!! When is it coming out? *hyperventilates excitedly* I can’t wait!!
Wow, this thing is making the rounds a lot more than I thought it would! XD Glad you like it! I should have the next part up pretty soon.
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AHHHHHHH THIS IS SO GOOD! 😀 Wolfgang is a genius, and Dallas is wonderful. Also, Bad News loving schoolhouse rock, that is just lovely. ^-^
*hugs* I’m so glad you like it! :3
^-^ It’s such a spurt of fresh air.
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*gasp* how is that going to end well???…. Can’t wait to see what happens!!
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